It might be confusing for you to separate the development that happens during adolescence, especially the rapid brain development that is happening, from the changes that are so obvious during those few years of puberty.
Illustration from I’m a Boy, How Are Girl Different?
We talk a lot about puberty because we know this such an important transition for your adolescent. But, I want to inspire you to learn more about how the changes going on in your child’s brain is changing the way they respond to you.
It’s a slow beginning, but by about 8-10 years old, you have likely already noticed a change in your adolescent’s attitude. The push back against your direction becomes more obvious each year. What are you to think about this? Try to remember that your adolescent is maturing into an independent young adult. Although, it might be sad to think about this transition, I am certain that you want this maturing process to be successful.
The way to respond to the push-back challenge from your adolescent is to let yourself change with it. You have been raising a child who needs lots of input from you to help them make the right choices. Now your adolescent benefits the most from being given choices and learning from the consequences of the choices they make.
You can practice this by putting together 2-3 options rather than a single directive about a simple request. This will probably surprise your adolescent that the decision is his. It is hard to push back when you are given choices.