Questions and Answers for Boys Ages 11+
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- My 11 year old son is complaining that his nipples hurt. Is that normal?
- I have noticed that my son only wants to wear shirts that hang down long in front. This is a change from just a year ago? Does this have something to do with puberty?
- I noticed that my son, who is 12 years old, started washing his own sheets. This was a big surprise because I didn’t even know he knew how to use the washing machine! Could he be having wet dreams?
- I am a dad of a son in puberty and I am not sure how to start a conversation with him about the changes happening in his body. Any suggestions?
- How do I explain to my son what a pimple is?
- My son and I have had conversations in the past about erections, but now he has started having ejaculations. How do I explain ejaculations to him?
- How do I explain to my son what causes an erection?
- What do I tell my 12-year-old son when he asks why girls in his class are taller than him?
- My son is definitely in puberty and now he wants to know how puberty is different for girls?
Is this a normal question? What should I tell him? - When does puberty end?
- It seems like every other commercial on television is about Viagra. How do I explain to my 12 year old son what this drug does?
- When should we sit down with our son to have “the talk”?
QUESTION 1:
My 11 year old son is complaining that his nipples hurt. Is that normal?
ANSWER
Your son’s body is feeling the effects of rising hormone levels during puberty. It is perfectly normal for him to experience some breast development and it is called gynecomastia, if you would like to research more about it.
Not all boys experience this but if they do it is temporary. It usually lasts for a few months to a few years.
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QUESTION 2:
I have noticed that my son only wants to wear shirts that hang down long in front. This is a change from just a year ago? Does this have something to do with puberty?
ANSWER
Boys who are 11-13 years old begin to experience spontaneous erections that are part of their puberty experience.
They have no control as to when these erections might happen and it can be very embarrassing for them. The long shirts help cover up what might happen.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 3:
I noticed that my son, who is 12 years old, started washing his own sheets. This was a big surprise because I didn’t even know he knew how to use the washing machine! Could he be having wet dreams?
ANSWER
It is very likely that he is having wet dreams (nocturnal emissions). The first time it happens they think they have wet the bed. More than likely, he talked to his friends and found out it was an ejaculation.
Although it might be uncomfortable at first, I would suggest you take some time to talk with him about an ejaculation. He might resist you a little, but inside he will be grateful for your help.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 4:
I am a dad of a son in puberty and I am not sure how to start a conversation with him about the changes happening in his body. Any suggestions?
ANSWER
As you know, boys don’t usually like big talks about most subjects, especially puberty talks. Think back to your own experience as you went through puberty. Spontaneous erections, wet dreams, clumsiness, cracking voice are probably all part of your memories.
Take advantage of a casual moment and mention one of your experiences, especially if it turned out to be funny. This will be a great way to start the conversation! It is great that you want to help him along this unpredictable path. He will be forever grateful.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 5:
How do I explain to my son what a pimple is?
ANSWER
This is a great question!
There are three types of glands in the skin and one of them is called a sebaceous gland. It produces oil that is squirted into a hair follicle through a tiny tube called a duct. Sebaceous glands don’t start producing oil until puberty because they need a form of testosterone to make them work.
If the duct gets blocked, oil builds up and forms a pimple. Encourage your son to keep his skin clean so the pimples don’t become irritated or infected.
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QUESTION 6:
My son and I have had conversations in the past about erections, but now he has started having ejaculations. How do I explain ejaculations to him?
ANSWER
A good place to start is to explain to him that ejaculations don’t start until later in puberty because puberty hormones are needed to get the process going. There are two main glands in the pelvis, the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland. Both make fluid for the ejaculation.
The purpose of the fluid is to provide nutrients for the sperm that come from the testicles. The sperm and the fluid mix together in the urethra (the tube that passes through the middle of the penis) and the mixture is called semen. Ejaculation is when semen comes out the end of the penis.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 7:
How do I explain to my son what causes an erection?
ANSWER
The inside of the penis is filled with a spongy-like tissue. An erection happens when the brain tells small blood vessels in the penis to open up and fill spongy tissue with blood.
Sexual thoughts and touching the penis (masturbation) will lead to erections. But also during puberty, an erection can happen without any sexual arousal. These are called spontaneous erections.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 8:
What do I tell my 12-year-old son when he asks why girls in his class are taller than him?
ANSWER
It would be helpful to him to learn that girls start puberty a couple of years before boys.
It is during puberty that hormones tell your bones to grow, so girls will be taller for a while before the boys catch up.
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QUESTION 9:
My son is definitely in puberty and now he wants to know how puberty is different for girls?
Is this a normal question? What should I tell him?
ANSWER
I am always pleased when kids want to know more.
There is a lot to teach him about his question, but I would begin by explaining that the purpose of puberty is to prepare your body to have a baby one day. For boys, that means making sperm. For girls, that means releasing eggs from the ovaries and preparing a bed in the uterus to take care of a growing baby.
You might be interested to know that I am currently writing a new book for boys called I’m a Boy: How Are Girls Different (for ages 11-13).
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
I’m a Boy: How Are Girls Different
QUESTION 10:
When does puberty end?
ANSWER
Most boys have completed the obvious physical changes of puberty by the time they are about 16-17 years old. But you will notice that they continue to mature in their thoughts about themselves and about their relationships. Their brains are still developing.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 11:
It seems like every other commercial on television is about Viagra. How do I explain to my 12 year old son what this drug does?
ANSWER
I would offer a simple explanation, starting with telling him about what happens in his very own body.
Most of the structure inside the penis is a spongy-like tissue. The brain tells tiny blood vessels in the spongy tissue to open up and fill the spongy tissue with blood. The result is an erection. Viagra helps the erection to happen and last for a longer period of time.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
QUESTION 12:
When should we sit down with our son to have “the talk”?
ANSWER
That will depend upon the age and maturity of your son. I prefer to think of the teaching about sex over a few years and not just one talk.
Especially for boys, these talks can be very uncomfortable and I am not sure they learn as much in those circumstances. I would ask him questions periodically what he knows about the subject. You can also use articles from news and movies to begin a great discussion. The more open and easy you are with the topic, the better it will go for both of you.
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I’m a Boy: Hormones!
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