All of us would agree that pornography is awful in every way. Parents dread the day they might discover their child on a porn website. In the midst of the shock, be wise in how you respond.
Now that your child is an adolescent, it is natural for them to have a curiosity about sex. Their brain is preparing them for their reproductive years. Their own reproductive system has been awakened by puberty hormones and they want information.
Sadly, it is incredibly easy to find porn sights on the computer. I don’t think most kids are looking for porn. Most often, they are asking simple questions about sex and this is what they are given.
It’s as Shocking to Them as It Is to YOU!
Think about how shocking it must be for them when these vivid images begin to flash before their eyes. They immediately know this is not good and they shouldn’t be looking at it, but it is certainly enticing the longer they stay on the site.
How can you respond in a way that doesn’t scare both of you? Remember that your child is still a child. There is an innocence that we want to protect. I have no doubt that they feel shame for finding the porn sites and then watching them. Start there. Ask them how they feel about looking at those sites? Address the issue of shame and explain that is a warning sign that something is wrong.
Avoid shaming your child for what they have done. The important lesson for them to learn from this is that what they saw is bad and not good. Porn distorts a beautiful, healthy sexual relationship and makes you think that their description is the correct one. It’s not.
The next step is to begin teaching your child about your view of a healthy sexual relationship built on respect and mutual enjoyment.