It doesn’t take very long before a young boy realizes that he has a penis and that girls don’t have one. It is always cute, and a little surprising, when they ask you why girls are different. A classic question is, “How do they pee if they don’t have a penis?”
Fortunately, at this young age their questions are pretty basic. They just want to know how the pee comes out of a girl.
Often we teach that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, but actually pee does not come out the vagina. There is a separate little opening for pee to come out called the urethral opening. It is located in the vulva.
What is the vulva? Just as a boy’s genitals (private parts) include the penis and testicles, a girl’s genitals (private parts) are called the vulva. Inside the vulva is the opening for the urethra and the opening for the vagina. I am hopeful that as time goes on, we can change the description of the girl’s genitals from vagina to vulva as we teach our children more accurate terms.
Your young son probably does not need all of that information. It is a perfectly age-appropriate answer to say that boys have a penis and girls just have a small opening in their vulva.
If he wants to know what a vulva is you can explain that as the penis and testicles are a boy’s genitals, or private parts, located between his legs, the vulva is the girl’s genitals, or private parts, which is located between her legs.
This was the most “on point” answer to my search, but my little (4) biy would like to know why the larts are different. “Why do boys have a penis and girls don’t” my multiple explanations haven’t satisfied him… He keeps asking. Very simple “that’s what makes us different” or “we have different parts because we are not the same” I’m really struggling. I told my husband he can save the “so the parts can fit together like Legos” explaination. For a long. Long. While. What would be a more specific, while still innocent explaination for why our parts aren’t the same?
Hi Perplexed mommy….
It sounds like you have a very insightful son, maybe a future doctor! You are wise to wait for the more advanced information since he is only 4. Although it sounds like he wants to know the more advanced information, I don’t think he really does. The answer is much more complicated than he is prepared for.
I wrote a book for boys 5-7 years old and maybe it would help you with his questions. It is called I’m a Boy, Special Me. In my book I attempt to address the questions that young boys ask before they have entered puberty and need a more simple answer. The book starts by explaining that boys and girls have very similar anatomy when it comes to the heart and the brain, but there is a difference between a boy and a girl. The focus of the book is on the boy’s anatomy and there are accurate illustrations that teach him about his reproductive system. I am a big believer in making sure that kids know their own reproductive anatomy before the concepts become clouded by the anatomy of the opposite sex and sexual topics.
I think this might satisfy his curiosity for now.
I hope this helps you…please let me know if we need to chat more.
Dr. Metten